So today I want to bitch about one of the most common, and hated, descriptions in an erotica book, ever. It goes like this:
(male:) Thrust, thrust, thrust.
(female:) screaming orgasm.
That’s it. Essentially, it’s a sex act that includes a very short session of thrusts of penis into vagina, immediately followed by an orgasm. No other stimulation. Perhaps kissing.
I call it 3TO. 3 Thrusts to Orgasm.
Ladies, the 3TO is slightly more imaginary than R2D2 or C3PO.
So now I get to discuss why I hate it so much. If you agree – write to me. If you disagree – write to me. If you hate me – go write your own blog.
Firstly – 3TO makes for very dull reading. Hello! I paid money for this book. I bought arousal potential and entertainment. Do you want to entertain me? Arouse me? 3TO is not the way to go about it.
Secondly – I can’t relate to 3TO. It doesn’t happen to me. Or to MOST of the women on this planet. Let’s talk about that for a bit.
Scientists have concluded that 75% of us women cannot come from stimulation to our vaginas alone. An additional 10% of us don’t have orgasms at all. That leaves 15% that come from penetration. So, obviously, the vast majority of us will read a 3TO scenario and won’t know what the hell that feels like. Much worse – we might feel inadequate reading it.
Once upon a time we were told that we should orgasm from penetration, missionary style. And good old Sigmund Freud (whose theories have been disproved for the most part), said that our frustrated sexual energy (due to our expectations to have orgasms from penetration) is – get this: Hysteria. Frustrated women not getting any orgasms from sex and prohibited from masturbating were called mentally ill. Way to go, Sigmund!
Then we were told that we have a clitoris and that we should get to know it so we can have orgasms. Great! We’re not psychos!
Then, research discovered that 75% of us, that’s three quarters, cannot come from penetration. Impossible. Like having an orgasm from rubbing the palm of our hand. Then we were told about the female g-spot, but later studies showed they haven’t found proof that it even exists. Then, finally, Hallelujah, men were told that they have to stimulate us to orgasm so we can enjoy ourselves just as much as they do.
And now, some scientists are saying that vaginal orgasms don’t exist at all, because it’s a clitoral orgasm reached from the inside. What the f***?
So let’s summarize: vaginal penetration is something that most of us can’t do.
So now the question returns to our erotica: Should we use it as reading / fantasy material?
I say, the hell we should. Here’s why:
First reason: if we don’t know what 3TO feels like, how can we fantasize about it?
Second reason: If 3TO is not how we orgasm, it won’t be arousing in a book. It won’t be as hot as it can be. If Hot Guy Brad was to rub Tiffany’s left palm, would she be screaming, “Oh, Oh, God, Here I Come!”? Yeah, right.
Third reason: since our erotic book is mostly about the guy, and since we want our fantasy Hot Guy to do it to us just the right way, he shouldn’t do 3TO more than once in a trilogy, maybe. He’s hot because he knows how to make our bodies jump with joy.
So let’s get rid of like, 90% of 3TO. Wouldn’t that be nice?
And then there’s also the aspect of harm to the young reader. If you are very young, my dear, and inexperienced, you may be misled by what you read. You might end up thinking that if you can’t come from penetration, well, then there must be something wrong with your body. And that’s a real shame.
There’s a whole other discussion here, about women tolerating the male-centrist point of view of 3TO, thus fitting into the male need of coming the same way they do. But I won’t go into that because we’re talking about fantasies, not politics. And also I’m not at my bitchiest today.
So here’s what I suggest:
Push that 3TO out of your vocabulary. Just say no to 3TO.
Tell your writer that 3TO should NOT be part of the smorgasbord of your erotic reading. Demand variety, diversity, imagination, kink, anything and everything, and leave maybe, 10% for the 3TO.
Wouldn’t that make our erotica so much better?
Write to me, girlfriend, tell me anything that pops into your mind. Talk to me!
Lots of love,